schnoidlblog

have you even ever heard anyone actually pronounce that word, porcine? what is it, pour-cheen?

went to a giant party tonight, to support my pal Finckobot, who got early set (9-11) in the main room. I was dawdling waiting to leave and then got distracted into some work and left late and got there 10.30, which it turns out due to technical fuckups was about five minutes into his set, so, cool.

What a scene, overall: fully *11* different soundsystems, !!! and some of it not even entirely sucky. Though I expect most of those in attendance had to travel several miles to return to their homes and yards and subdivisions, aka fucking hair product body spray stinkup. anyway.

But I’ve been thinking, seeing as I got my visa, it would only be decent to have a wide-tongue lick of the local gods, in the form of, of course you guessed it, having a big ol hunk of greasy sausage. As a bloviatious vega-taerion, i like to gas off about how on those so-rare occasions that I have meat how it’s such a mmmmmkkkkkkIN-ky experience, all those rich juices of dead animal cascading up through my sinuses and all that, oh yeah just listen to me talk…but tonight, i felt the pull of the grilled Thuringen (a major German state) Classic Grill items, and as i was leaving plonked down my 2€ and took a bratwurst to go.

Oh shit. It was seriously one of THE tastiest things I have EVER eaten. On the second bite i was ready to order another. Wow. No glammy wordcurls, no blah blah onslaught of vegetarische kinky poesy…just, wow, good fucking eating. Almost went back inside for another, all the way to the train.

Brat = roast, so, roast bratwurst = implosion? Growing up in upstate NY we used to get these things called White Hots, like hot dogs except pasty grey, porky and peppery. really good. Basically i guess they’re bratwursts.

I want more.

Was already farting nasty before I even got off the train. My digestive system isn’t even going to look at this; I am pretty sure i will be getting 98.8 degree dense spicy farts for the next couple days, and who knows what obscure materials will present at the toilet (hi, and the part about my appendix erupting for all it’s worth), but, I have not eaten my last roast brat.

More.

now to find a place to live. just gimme a nice open clean room with a mattress, and not too much cigarette smoke around. if wishes were fishes…

and also doing one of the things i hate the most, looking for new shoes. only Nikes fit me, and once every too-few years they make an ACG model that fits me. Last one was two years ago and this sucks. Their Bandolier Mid was one the better ones they’ve ever made, and of course they have to shuffle in a bunch of half-considered gimmicky crap to see if they can keep the hype fresh. stupid fucks.

fingers have been so crossed they almost broke and crumbled, oh hope just get away from me, but as of this morning, i have a full visa for a year here!! can travel anywhere in Europe, leave, come back, whatever…just have to get some German work, get involved in the local economy, pay German taxes, etc. I’m sure there’s a language requirement but I’ll sort that out later.

was definitely a game of inches; if we had gotten the overworked Hilda on the left, would have been a very sudden hell wayyyy no, but the one she palmed me off to was far more flexible. really in shock. so very hard to believe. that’s a struggle I can get with!!

heard some hardcore outside today, decided to go have a look. how about that, about twelve trucks with thundering soundsystems, cruising up the street, blasting hard-as-knives beats, full on. and trailing along, an extremely motley bunch of drunk as fucks, like, thousands. what a scene.

if you didn’t know, there used to be a big street party in Berlin called Love Parade, which was probably fun before it peaked, but at least ten years ago became a million shitty-music lovers, like really, a serious million, and Berlin told it to fuck off. i think it happens somewhere else now, with smaller offshoots in a couple other cities. Last I knew it was some of the most vile commercial drivel imaginable. Fuck Parade is a response to that, a fine one.

not much to say lately because I’m half just in shock, waiting for either boot to drop. was a bit freaked out earlier this week, just seemed like a big stormfront of fuck-no, but I regrouped and attended, and for now anyway… I try very hard never to be needy with Nicole, but telling her I really needed a hug, and her saying yes, come and get one, oh, what happened to my horrible mood? all better.

my friend Jorg is going to my meeting with me Monday, and despite my worries that all i have is a slagheap of lame promises, he seems to think I’m in good shape, and not to worry. oh? do tell. no, really: do. definitely glad he’s in-betweening; my way would be to march in and say, okay here, my lawyer says this is the rule, so i comply thus and thus, gimMEEEE, but he says, hmmmm yeah, like, no, that will make them immediately adversarial, so…thanks, you drive.

dateline Berlin: leaving a club tonight I saw the rear view of a definitely older naked man at the bar, be-draped in a few mardigras beads and a key on his arm and not much else. looked like the security droid was escortching him out, bet if he kept going he found some fun. go naked old dude.

and it’s 4.14 and i better find some dreamies because the days still start pretty early up here…

so, yeah: light a candle for your favorite mid-life posterchild, Monday at 9.30am Berlin time, or likely probably like 11 or some such (by the time my number actually comes up…), I will be trying to look natural for the nice visa officer…boy i sure could use that last inch in this game of inches…

I got health insurance, so goddamned cool.
not only does that put me in gooey stead with that half of the visa problem, but, wow, what a thing:
I also have health insurance. is this possible? neat.

well, uh…yeah. except for that I forgot to put the “c/o” on the mailing address, oh that, so, hmmm, let’s see if i get those papers ok…ahhh, hypervigilance, never know what tiny huge detail it will distract you from.

running on fumes here, so unmotivated. whole days go by where I accomplish almost nothing. goddamned limbo.

insurance guy hasn’t contacted me again, thought it was a done deal but still waiting on papers to confirm. others are supposed to be sending me money but somehow I’m still waiting. Nicole seems to really like me a lot, but she’s being a little standoffish, trying to work out how I fit into her life. uh, honey, in a week i might be asked to leave so can we worry about that, say, then?

not to mention the massive resounding silence on the subject of getting DJ gigs. fuck, i just wanna play some music, why does that have to be such a fucking production? meh.

still gotta plane flight booked tomorrow. won’t be on it but part of me says sure fuck it why not.

for all everyone says i’m their poster boy for having the courage to live my dream, you know, sometimes it really isn’t all that.

sometimes I am on the train and I hear some luscious Cataleño Spanish and wonder why in hell I even came here? Part of me says come onnnn, this is the smart move, get a good home base here, just suck it up and learn an adequate amount of this language and move on, big fucking whatever. Other parts fall down in the soup aisle and pee on the tiles. Such a lovely picnic.

but I got less than seb’m daze to the shiny Monday morghing visa officer trans-scrumptuals, so, hmmm, suck it up i’m guessing? my efforts could be spent hustling and angling, but they could also be spent actually drinking this place, you know, like, I haven’t even nearly been?

I think we are approaching that moment wherein I eat a sizzlin grilled hunk of sossage, and let the local gods see my insides.

insurance meeting yesterday was encouraging, looks like i will be able to get decent coverage for 125/mo, and they say it will assuage the officers. don’t have the approved paper in my hand yet, but they said fer sher.

today booked a half hour with new lawyer, who was just great. she even dug out the 10cm (try it! fun!) thick rule book and copied out a page with a line that says if i can demonstrate sufficient means of supporting myself for the next year, then that’s ok, otherwise i have to show savings. now, what do they accept as proof of such, i don’t know. Entirely non-binding estimates of a specific figure, on German letterhead would be perhaps nice, so I’m going to see about that. Hoping right now for another interim 3 month extension, with work permit, she said that’s possible. So, do list.

Things are going so great with this wonderful girl. She’s really delightful, and seems to like me just a little more every time we are together. I really love being near her…and as i write this, bing, a text from her. was picking up the phone to text her earlier and one came in from her. lovely love is lovely…

Perlon night at Panorama Bar, the upstairs sistron of Berghain. Went around 1am, first time I have seen the floor not caked with cullet (crushed glass). Sammy Dee gradually amped it from an empty floor to fully stuck in, over an hour period, always cool to hear DJs do that: as the dancefloor filled, bit by bit, he was right there with it, pushing it up just so, until yes, a thriving throng. some other fellow did a live PA, was super, and then Zip went on, who? never heard of him. Oh, owner of Perlon? news to me. god damn, he was just supertits. seriously, so out there, and not with the over-the-top I’m-a-good-fucker onslaught, but stripped down raw gristle. really something. left at 9am…

saw the coolest tattoo ever. short girl with big lovely eyes., and on her back, between right shoulder blade and spine, a map, but with three or four pseudopod/tendrils squishing out of it, towards her spine, like some hungry gerrymander. Somehow I knew her name would begin with “Ger…”, and hah, yes, it does. sure hope she follows through and sends me a photo of it. really great. a map, that is hungry, and on the move. to me, perfect.